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| Time: | 12:22 am. |
| Mood: |  distressed. |
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Broken angel you sway helpless through the desert wind
as your enemies they come to pick your bones
you're an anomaly so graced to be a lie you told in leisurely
a passing fascination with obituary eyes
so long to go
before these alabaster hands ever let go
meticulous in ritual you made a science of your pain
where all your bleeding hearts and hungry minds
divide along the way
so in love with all you could not be
forever doomed to wonder aimlessly
never really knowing all the pain you're gonna find
so long to go
before these alabaster hands ever let go
swaying in the California haze
in angel dust we all do blow away
we bleed this love alive
straight faced to suicide
when do all these words mean anything?
What good will come of you and me?
just growin' old and none the wiser
fall apart and then your time to fall
again get up again and on and on
wasted breath in blackened lung and shortness of belief
exercise your demons when you dream
the secrets that you keep inside are all you've ever known
pay to ride and fuck to die reinvent another you
but that never stops that march right off the cliff in a single file
these angel wings could never take the weight of the fall
a question lost time a tasteless joke a secret smile
to fall apart and get up again and on again
we bleed this love alive
straight faced to suicide
when do all these words mean anything?
What good will come of you and me?
just growin' old and none the wiser
fall apart and then your time to fall
again get up again and on and on
"angeldust" strung out
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Comments: Add Your Own.
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Bury Your Head
Bury Your Head
I was feeling fine, you’ll be coming clean tonight
And I’ll be falling down with you, once again
Call me your valentine, call me once tonight
And I haven’t said it’s okay
The things you said, I’m rehearsing them,
The things you said, I’m rehearsing them,
They went back on us
(Until his eyes rolled back couldn't step it up)
I could know when to come on to it
It’s the thought that emerges
(Take back couldn't step it up)
I could never love the ion change
Bury your head, and the child smashed you down
And the psalms will soon recall me again
Fall down below
I’ll sleep tonight, when you’re okay
And I Haven’t said it’s okay
The things you said, I’m rehearsing them,
The things you said, I’m rehearsing them,
They went back on us
(Until his eyes rolled back couldn't step it up)
I could know when to come on to it
It’s the thought that emerges
(Take back couldn't step it up)
I could never love the ion change
They have been the ones who've seen enough
this is what you call love?
They stole my lies,
Sold right and all,
They wandered around and round my mouth,
They stole my lie,
Sold right and all,
(Stole it all, Stole it all),
They have been the ones who've seen enough
They went back on us
(Until his eyes rolled back couldn't step it up)
I could know when to come on to it
It’s the thought that emerges
(Take back couldn't step it up)
I could never love the ion change
You’ll be coming clean tonight
"Bury your head" - SAOSIN
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Monday, February 28th, 2005
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Nichole, all i need from you is your social security number and i can get the paperwork filled out and mailed to you. Just e-mail it to me so you dont have to put it on here.
projectheartbreak@yahoo.com
Well I guess we got everything off of our chests.
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Comments: Add Your Own.
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Monday, February 14th, 2005
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Friday, January 28th, 2005
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| Time: | 12:34 pm. |
| Mood: | hungover. |
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I guess my wife thought it was funny to put a comment like that. I didn't find it funny.
I miss my son and I'm going to georgia to see him very soon. I need to write. I need to play some music.
I need something. Anything.
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Comments: Read 1 or Add Your Own.
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Tuesday, January 18th, 2005
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| Time: | 12:02 am. |
| Mood: |  apathetic. |
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My birthday was yesterday. I'm 21 now. yeah!
Now I can really abuse my alcohol.
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Comments: Read 2 or Add Your Own.
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Sunday, January 2nd, 2005
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what's up? It's just me. I played paintball today, got shot inthe stomach.
There's a nice little welt there.
I wrote a new poem tonight. I haven't written in a while.
I hate my wife. she still hasn't filed for the divorce yet. that's all I want. I don't wanna have to go down there
if you read this emily, e-mail me.
projectheartbreak@yahoo.com.
later everyone.
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Comments: Read 1 or Add Your Own.
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Sunday, December 5th, 2004
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| Time: | 7:21 pm. |
| Music: | slipknot-vermillion. |
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My cousin and some other people want to form our own paintball team. Then we'll enter some tournaments and kick everyone's ass. It would also be nice if I could see my son.
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Comments: Add Your Own.
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Sunday, November 28th, 2004
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I just played paintball today, and it's the shit. Everyone needs to play. Go play seriously, it's fun.
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Tuesday, November 9th, 2004
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so........................
my soon to be ex-wife has moved in with one of my friends. I know he's tapping that ass. I'm pretty hurt about it. Emily hates men, I hate women. Of course my wife is not really a woman so...
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Comments: Read 1 or Add Your Own.
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Thursday, November 4th, 2004
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Sadness paints my eyes a cold shade of black and blue.
I've put aside my pride and decided to follow you all the way through.
When the ashes begin to settle and the smoke gets in your face,
Do you hold your breath?
Maybe you should take a deep one in.
Letting all that's between these two lines,
Remind you of what you've left behind.
It's too bad you're not breathing ,
it's misleading.
A bitter romance put on high.
Do you remember when you finally started to slip away?
I was holding you in my arms,
and then everything turned to ashes.
You always gasped when I put my emotions deep inside.
It always felt nice to have two broken hearts collide.
As if all of this wasn't enough.
As if all I could depend on was a fantasy trust that collapsed the day I said I love you.
Don't take this the wrong way.
I think I can finally find my way.
Have I said everything I've needed to say?
By the way,
You only have yourself to blame.
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Comments: Read 1 or Add Your Own.
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Friday, October 29th, 2004
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| Subject: | still here... |
| Time: | 11:21 am. |
| Mood: |  hopeful. | | Music: | Brand new - The quiet things that no one ever knows. |
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I'm alive still, here in NC. Need to find some people to play music with. It's been over a year and a half since I've played drums. shitty.
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Comments: Add Your Own.
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Wednesday, September 29th, 2004
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| Time: | 12:20 am. |
| Music: | halifax "sidney". |
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I'm pulling the shades down,
throwing my arms around this false hope.
This grace seemed to slip right through.
I've never noticed how the light reflects off the walls of all
the cold words that are spoken so much.
My medication is running strong, but it feels like I'm all wrong.
When staying myself isn't good enough, I always choose to run.
If I leave my back turned just long enough,
maybe you'll turn your back on me.
Plea with me, pray for me.
If I can't make it out alive, I'm dragging you with me.
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| Time: | 12:16 am. |
| Mood: |  cold. |
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I just got out of the hospital two days ago and it sucked. I'm in NC right now visiting. Me and my wife are getting divorced. I haven't been doing too well.
Oh well, my shit life goes on.
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Wednesday, June 2nd, 2004
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NEW MEDICINES
These are the words that tear you apart.
And these are the words that take you away.
And these are just words they'll tear you apart.
When no one here will say what needs to say.
New medicines should ease this pain.
They're the only ailment for it.
It's this air and time that's bringing me home again.
A lame attempt at playing the part again now.
In a place you don't know.
And this stance as sturdy as leaves in a storm.
The premise and motive fueling blank faces.
The fool in a place you don't know.
In this place, you don't
New medicines should ease this pain.
They're the only ailment for it. All over again.
These are the words that tore me apart.
And these are the words that'll take me away.
I'm not in the business of faking to please vain opposers.
A dead legion of new, cloned followers.
You're cornered in a place you don't know.
In this world, you don't.
New medicines should ease this pain.
They're the only ailment for it. All over again.
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Comments: Read 1 or Add Your Own.
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THE DREAMCLUB MURDERS
So after all, you needed more than a death-threat fall.
You needed more, and I let you fall.
Into the coffin with your floor-dropped jaw.
And I remember you aspiration, your dream to fit in.
But it's gone, and they're here.
So let's kill these felons now.
But I remember you, you'll go, you'll find a way back home.
But I remember you, when you stand there,
You stand with your eyes closed.
And I feel, tonight, that I let you die.
But you could have lived forever, it took smiles to keep you alive.
But heroes die, and so did mine.
But you go, and I stay, will it keep you at peace now.
But I remember you, you'll go, you'll find a way back home.
But I remember you, when you stand there,
You stand with your eyes closed.
And I'll dig you out, and I'll sit you up.
For the fools to find you, the fools breathe into you.
So sleep child no one can touch you now.
No one can hurt you now. Not here. Anymore.
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Thursday, March 4th, 2004
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I am still in Georgia. I have a beautiful baby boy named Aiden. He is 4 months old.
I have a lovely new wife. Things are going well. I'm doing well. I 'm straight. I work and raise my family. I love it.
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Comments: Read 4 or Add Your Own.
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Friday, October 24th, 2003
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Aiden was born on October 22nd at 7:17pm. He weighed a wopping 9 pounds. He was 22 inches long. I am so happy. He's healthy and he's beautiful. I'm the happiest person alive right now.
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Comments: Read 3 or Add Your Own.
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Thursday, October 16th, 2003
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I am still alive everyone. My baby is due any day now and I am so happy. Nichole is wonderful and she has just become my fiance. I look forward to my life with her. Just wanted to check in . later
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Comments: Read 1 or Add Your Own.
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I am now living in georgia. Brunswick to be exact. I am with my amazing girlfriend nichole and everything is going great. I will be attending a school for web page development and I hope this all works out. Maybe I can return to cali someday. But right now, I am happy with everything that is going on. I finally want to be alive.
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Comments: Read 2 or Add Your Own.
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londonsfalling's journal
stressed.
confused.